This is a somewhat personal post but I had an epiphany that amused me and might even help other procrastinators so it seems worth posting even if it's a bit more revelatory than I like to be out here on the big wide open exposed Internet.
To begin with, let me say that I often am in quandaries when making decisions. Which dress to wear? Which side to part my hair? Which shoes? Which toy to buy for one of T3CCITW? Which way to word that sentence? Which plant to buy? Which plant to place right there - one may look better than the other, grow higher, not grow higher, prefer sun, prefer shade, propagate a lot, a little....? Which phrase will be more apt and convey what I mean better? Which outfit is more appropriate? Which makes me look less ugly? Well, you see how this goes. (No psychoanalysis, please!)
Now to the present moment. Two or three weeks ago, the nice man who mows my lawn (and cleans my gutters, saint that he is) had dug up and turned over the soil in three places so I could plant flowers for the summer. I'd been feeling guilty that I hadn't put anything in - not because I didn't want to but it had rained a lot, been hot a lot and, well, which plants did I want to put in that would look great, last well, grow well, etc. (see above paragraph)). And then this morning he came to finish some mowing. I felt really bad that he'd think I wasn't appreciative or something so I ran to the store to buy flats of flowers and get back before he was done. I made quick and authoritative decisions, bought many nice things and came home to place and plant them without any trouble.
While driving home, sweaty from the rush of running out and running around the garden center picking things, I began to ask myself why I hadn't just done all this last weekend. I was mulling it over when, bingo!, I had a realization. By waiting to do what needed to be done until the last minute, I had avoided agonizing and second, third even tenth and twentieth guessing myself (yes, I do that if I have time). Instead, I did it quickly and made choices and everything is fine. Perhaps even better, actually, since editorializing doesn't always result in better choices.
This all sounds so logical and obvious of course and I have no idea why I didn't think of it before. There's so much wisdom in what one sees after a realization, isn't there?
So now let's see whether anything changes. . . .
Labels: personalities