Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Human nature
posted at 9:02 AM |
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I am getting awully tired of hearing about it and even more tired of hearing the over-wrought analyses that blame The Cambridge Incident of 2009 on racial and/or intellectual attitudes. Why does it have to be so complicated? Why does it have to have been anything more than two individuals reacting instinctively and hot-headedly, although entirely understandably? Don't we do ourselves and them a disservice by calling it all kinds of other things? And don't we thereby also trivialize racism?
My own example may prove my point. Back in the day, as they say, I was a hippie-ish young mother, complete with long hair, mascara, tie-dyed skirt and flowy blouse. One morning I drove to work and saw police barricades at both ends of the four-block stretch that led to my office. I drove around a couple of times and, being nearly late, convinced myself that the barricades were meant to prohibit thru traffic but not prevent residents or workers from access. Although I may have been correct, the way I went about acting on my conclusion was not and the error of my ways was quickly made clear because no sooner had I turned into the street than a policeman ran over, loudly telling me to "stop right there." He called me "honey" and "hippie-girl" among other sobriquets including ones I won't write here. I felt quite scared (you know that odd feeling as if your blood is rippling right under your skin?) but wasn't about to let him know it so I stopped my car and started to explain as if to a dim-witted lamppost that I needed to get to work in that building in the middle of the block. I was loud and sarcastic and demanded to know why he wouldn't let me go through. He said it was none of my concern. We were both very angry and both thought we were completely correct. Eventually, when I sneered something along the lines of "come on, let me go to work, this is getting ridiculous," he snapped something along the lines of "oh you think it's ridiculous, do you" and pulled out his book and wrote me a ticket for "insubordination" - putting the lie, by the way, to the news people I've heard asserting that one cannot get a ticket for rudeness unless a crowd is gathering.
By which I mean to say that pretty much no one stays calm and rational when a policeman talks to them. I doubt if it matters who has the greater claim to logic because both people think it's theirs. I doubt if it matters that/if the police are "just doing their job" or asking innocuous questions. I doubt if it matters if one side or the other is white or black although assumptions certainly are made on both sides when race is involved. In such situations, hotness will infuse all heads no matter what, almost inevitably.
In the Gates incident, the policeman could have left as soon as he realized that Gates lived in the house, even if hundreds of thousands of people had gathered, and could have said, gee, sorry, no problem, have a good night. And Gates could have said, through clenched teeth if he had to, here's my driver's license and I live here and sorry for your trouble.
But people can be - and often are - sarcastic, angry and rude when challenged, surprised and/or scared. Power in a uniform with a gun confronting someone without either will always be unpleasant and scary, and no one reacts well when feeling surprised and scared. And a person holding a power position will always feel challenged and threatened when spoken to loudly and angrily. It doesn't have to be because they're black or white or even polka-dotted (as Steve Martin used to say), it's just human nature. The trick is knowing how to cool off in two seconds. We all need to know how. And to do it at those times. And to have a calm and reasonable conversation if we can. What we do not need to do is make it into a great big conceptual hullabaloo and blame it on a big impersonal -ism that allows us to disavow responsibility for our own behavior, no matter how understandable and instinctive, and no matter how sarcastic, angry and/or rude. Sometimes a cigar is really truly nothing more or less than dried leaves crushed into a long cylindrical shape that will get lit with a match and smoked.
My own example may prove my point. Back in the day, as they say, I was a hippie-ish young mother, complete with long hair, mascara, tie-dyed skirt and flowy blouse. One morning I drove to work and saw police barricades at both ends of the four-block stretch that led to my office. I drove around a couple of times and, being nearly late, convinced myself that the barricades were meant to prohibit thru traffic but not prevent residents or workers from access. Although I may have been correct, the way I went about acting on my conclusion was not and the error of my ways was quickly made clear because no sooner had I turned into the street than a policeman ran over, loudly telling me to "stop right there." He called me "honey" and "hippie-girl" among other sobriquets including ones I won't write here. I felt quite scared (you know that odd feeling as if your blood is rippling right under your skin?) but wasn't about to let him know it so I stopped my car and started to explain as if to a dim-witted lamppost that I needed to get to work in that building in the middle of the block. I was loud and sarcastic and demanded to know why he wouldn't let me go through. He said it was none of my concern. We were both very angry and both thought we were completely correct. Eventually, when I sneered something along the lines of "come on, let me go to work, this is getting ridiculous," he snapped something along the lines of "oh you think it's ridiculous, do you" and pulled out his book and wrote me a ticket for "insubordination" - putting the lie, by the way, to the news people I've heard asserting that one cannot get a ticket for rudeness unless a crowd is gathering.
By which I mean to say that pretty much no one stays calm and rational when a policeman talks to them. I doubt if it matters who has the greater claim to logic because both people think it's theirs. I doubt if it matters that/if the police are "just doing their job" or asking innocuous questions. I doubt if it matters if one side or the other is white or black although assumptions certainly are made on both sides when race is involved. In such situations, hotness will infuse all heads no matter what, almost inevitably.
In the Gates incident, the policeman could have left as soon as he realized that Gates lived in the house, even if hundreds of thousands of people had gathered, and could have said, gee, sorry, no problem, have a good night. And Gates could have said, through clenched teeth if he had to, here's my driver's license and I live here and sorry for your trouble.
But people can be - and often are - sarcastic, angry and rude when challenged, surprised and/or scared. Power in a uniform with a gun confronting someone without either will always be unpleasant and scary, and no one reacts well when feeling surprised and scared. And a person holding a power position will always feel challenged and threatened when spoken to loudly and angrily. It doesn't have to be because they're black or white or even polka-dotted (as Steve Martin used to say), it's just human nature. The trick is knowing how to cool off in two seconds. We all need to know how. And to do it at those times. And to have a calm and reasonable conversation if we can. What we do not need to do is make it into a great big conceptual hullabaloo and blame it on a big impersonal -ism that allows us to disavow responsibility for our own behavior, no matter how understandable and instinctive, and no matter how sarcastic, angry and/or rude. Sometimes a cigar is really truly nothing more or less than dried leaves crushed into a long cylindrical shape that will get lit with a match and smoked.
Labels: modern times, personalities
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