Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Awful thought
posted at 8:59 AM |
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There is no end to the horror and terror that the vile kidnappers wrought on the Dugard family. Jaycee Dugard herself must have such a complex web of joy and guilt and sadness to work through, feelings and experiences that no one should ever have to deal with. And her parents must be unbelievably happy and yet also agonized because they know that enormous difficulties lie ahead. It's not as if adult parent-daughter relationships always run smoothly in the best of circumstances, after all. But today I realized a twist no one has mentioned among the unfathomable adjustments that the Dugard family faces.
It occurred to me that another piece to all this, something bursting with both unbelievable joy and unimaginable horror, is that Jaycee Dugard's mother now has two granddaughters.
As I can personally attest three times over, there is hardly anything as wonderful or joyous as grandchildren. But what if your grandchildren are also the children of the man who kidnapped, injured and held your own child for nearly two decades? What if the two girls you love so much are also the living breathing embodiments of dreadful things done to your daughter? And are not only reminders every single moment of every single day but also have their own gruesome history? One hopes that one's grandchildren's father will be someone you can love, respect and appreciate. But in this case it's like a wildly distorted and warped version of a good news / bad news joke because the girls would not even exist were it not for the monster who kidnapped their mother. In fact, it's such an astonishing set of events and pretzel-like interlocking connections that it's almost impossible to describe. So how can they all come to terms with everything? Are people that resilient? Is love and the desire to love strong enough? Can time close the wounds enough so everyone can move beyond the rage and pain, the extraordinary confusion and sense of being completely overwhelmed?
It occurred to me that another piece to all this, something bursting with both unbelievable joy and unimaginable horror, is that Jaycee Dugard's mother now has two granddaughters.
As I can personally attest three times over, there is hardly anything as wonderful or joyous as grandchildren. But what if your grandchildren are also the children of the man who kidnapped, injured and held your own child for nearly two decades? What if the two girls you love so much are also the living breathing embodiments of dreadful things done to your daughter? And are not only reminders every single moment of every single day but also have their own gruesome history? One hopes that one's grandchildren's father will be someone you can love, respect and appreciate. But in this case it's like a wildly distorted and warped version of a good news / bad news joke because the girls would not even exist were it not for the monster who kidnapped their mother. In fact, it's such an astonishing set of events and pretzel-like interlocking connections that it's almost impossible to describe. So how can they all come to terms with everything? Are people that resilient? Is love and the desire to love strong enough? Can time close the wounds enough so everyone can move beyond the rage and pain, the extraordinary confusion and sense of being completely overwhelmed?
Labels: family, relationships
3 comments
Well it seem they're doing just fine. They seem like a great bunch of people.
As for me, no, nothing that difficult, though I have been known to drop longstanding friends without a backward glance and then there was the time when I was younger when I ditched a certain girl......
As for me, no, nothing that difficult, though I have been known to drop longstanding friends without a backward glance and then there was the time when I was younger when I ditched a certain girl......
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