In one of those quirky twists of fate that sometimes seem perpetrated by impish adolescent gods intent on amusing themselves at humans' expense, the brother who expected to be only background support ended up outliving his father as well as three starting and starring brothers. He had shouldered and carried on their demands and dreams in a half-century congressional career and life in the spotlight
Ted Kennedy was a complex man whom history will rightly evaluate with the entire spectrum of grays. He was the youngest son of a father who drove his boys to be as powerful as possible regardless of personal consequences and even, at times, we have come to learn, regardless of legalities. Whether the father believed he and his sons knew best what others should do and have, or whether he simply thirsted for naked power for them all, only they know. They were, however, unusually able to grab and hold attention and power, and to amass the influence of other rich and powerful people around the world. For better or worse, they changed the way our country, if not most of the world, viewed and styled itself.
The Kennedy family said today that "We've lost the irreplaceable center of our family and joyous light in our lives, but the inspiration of his faith, optimism and perseverance will live on in our hearts forever."
Various government figures, including President Obama, have issued glowing statements about Kennedy's influence and impact on legislation and society.
Indeed I am sure he was larger than life to his family and colleagues, as all the Kennedys have been to all of us. And his absence will doubtless cause a vacuum at family gatherings and in Senate meetings.
He had wealth, success, popularity, fame; he was surrounded by beautiful people; he lived what we call the good life and lived it intensely. He also had great sadness, even tragedy. I suspect his inner life was light years away from the rosy hail-fellow-well-met public persona he presented to us all. We can not and should not judge him, partly because that is not at all our prerogative. But it seems to me that we should exercise balance, moderation and judiciousness even while giving praise.
The Kennedys jumped onto the world's stage, front and center, demanding political and social attention. But living so publicly means that everything is public - good behavior and bad, mistakes, successes, triumphs, failures and embarrassments no matter how personal. It can't be easy. It must be especially difficult if the choice is not one you would make. Ted was, to put it harshly, the runt of the litter and, according to what we know (of people we do not actually know), he was the least whipper-snapper smart of the boys and the least interested in the so-called family business of power and government. Like all of us, he was flawed. But his flaws were visible to millions of people. Perhaps he partied so hard and made so many apparently questionable choices because the pressure was literally overwhelming.
Ted Kennedy often urged decency and kindness, and he accomplished much legislative progress. He deserves appreciation, respect and praise. We should honor him and feel sorrowful for his family. Because he was so public and we know so much about what happened, however, we also should not forget the women he misused and the elitism he lived while espousing decency and generosity for all. The mistakes and disconnects did happen and should not be pretended away. Too many are alive who remember it all - the glamor, the luxury, the amazing legislation, the sad and awful behavior, the beautiful family, the sadness, the beauty, over and over in an odd sort of rotation. He contributed much that was positive, some that wasn't, he led a dramatic and public and complicated personal life, but perhaps, in the end, the words with which he honored his brother say it most succinctly and best, namely that he "need not be idealized or enlarged in death beyond what he was in life."
Labels: events, people of note